‘A club that nobody wants to be part of’

Former hostages meet up for group support 

In September 2024, a unique group of individuals joined together for a day to share their experiences and provide mutual support around having been held hostage.

Organised by Hostage International, but led by the participants themselves, the day was warmly received by 15 former hostages, who agreed that they are ‘part of a club that nobody wants to be a part of’.

As such, one said: “It is really comforting to be here in a room with other hostages.”

Despite the variances in everyone’s hostage situations, people were brought together at the start by one former hostage highlighting that no matter the differences, ‘…that moment of being taken, that shock of being taken, is something that we all have in common.’

Many of the participants talked openly about their experiences of being held, in vastly differing situations, but who had all been through something extreme, which anyone who hasn’t been held hostage could never truly understand.

They shared stories around the ‘extraordinary’ transition from having been released to getting back into the ‘real’ world, where so many hostages feel alone and misunderstood, with one person saying: “Only a small proportion of people will ever experience what we have, so we can’t expect people to understand what we go through.”

The group also shared anecdotes around what they have found helpful in moving forward around looking for justice and accountability, learning how to live in the present, and finding happiness or contentment, with one person saying: “We are here, being alive, being here, that’s the win.”

Writing after the event, another participant said: “It was hugely helpful to spend a day with people who knew directly what these experiences were like, in a safe warm space where we could each listen and discuss and compare our experiences, without having to explain anything, and without fear of being judged.

“The group that you brought together, including both people who went through these experiences decades ago and also more recently, and the environment that you created for that day, was something amazing and unique in my life.”

This initial, small, pilot project was held in response to former hostages telling us that they would find it helpful to meet others. The day was made possible by a grant of £6,000 from the National Lottery Community Fund and a donation from Hostage International supporters Jo and David Bowen.

Lara Symons, CEO of Hostage International, said: “We wanted to find a safe and discreet way to try to help foster a sense of community – which doesn’t currently exist – for former hostages to connect and offer peer support.

“We organised the event with input from former hostages, and are grateful to them and to all those who joined us on the day.

“This pilot project has been such a success that we hope to roll it out annually, and internationally, to support more people in this way.”

To help fund projects such as this, and our work at Hostage International, please visit: www.hostageinternational.org

Names, the location, and other details of this retreat have been withheld from this article to maintain confidentiality and respect for all participants.

The image shows a Viburnum Tinus Spirit, which was planted with the participants on the day, to celebrate the ‘spirit’ of all those attending.

September 2024